Resilience: Build the Skills to get you Through Life’s Challenges

It isn’t the number of hurdles you have to jump over to cross the finish line; it is how successfully you clear them and leave them in your wake… resilience is what propels us forward even we don’t feel like it sometimes.

Resilience is defined as “the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness.” In practical terms, resilience means being able to stand up to life’s challenges and making it out the other end. But that does not mean that you make it through completely unscathed.

There are tiny scars, sometimes physical, sometimes emotional, that you take with you. And although people typically think of scars as ugly or unsightly, they are the marks that add color to our lives, our souls, and they define who and what we are. The key to having resilience is to see each situation as a challenge instead of a hurdle. And also to conquer it head-on, whatever it is that comes your way.

We all Have Hardships it is how we Deal With Them That Defines our Character

The reality is that no one makes it through life without hardships. Some might have more than others, but no one has a wholly simplistic and stress-free existence. But if we didn’t have those times that show us what we are made of or difficult times, then we wouldn’t ever be able to appreciate the good ones. You have to experience pain to feel pleasure, hate to understand love, and sadness to know happiness.

Negative experiences in life are meant to teach us to look at the positive. And to know that in the end, nothing lasts forever. As cliche as it might be, that which doesn’t kill us, absolutely makes us stronger. So if you are experiencing a crisis in life, going through a hard time, or just perhaps feeling as if you want to give up, take heart, you are not alone. Everyone has felt that way, everyone.

Resilience involves having the tools that you need to get through life’s challenges using mindfulness and the right coping tools. And if you stay in the moment, breathe deeply, and focus on the positive, you can overcome whatever life throws your way!

How to be Resilient no Matter What Life Throws Your way!

Breathe Deeply

When hardship happens, the first thing you have to do is to take a deep breath and continue to breathe deeply. Restricting your breathing will only make your anxiety worse, limiting your ability to reason. Close your eyes, fill your stomach completely with air, and count to four as you exhale. It is okay to stay still and let the shock pass while breathing deeply. Most of the situations in life do not get resolved immediately. And to react or respond appropriately, it might take some thought and rationalization, which is nearly impossible if you can’t get to the point of calm.

Think Positively

Nothing good ever comes from thinking negatively. As humans, we try to buffer our disappointment by looking to the worst-case scenario. But the truth is that the worst case is rarely the result of any situation. When something unpleasant happens, try to think positively and imagine the best outcome. Preparing yourself for negative will almost always bring the negative and make you react in a way that will enhance its inevitability.

If you think positively, then you can see options much more clearly, which will help you navigate any situation. The law of attraction says that we get what we put out into the universe. So, if you think negatively, then you most likely will experience negatively. Even in bleak times, there is a silver lining to be found; sometimes, you just have to look harder.

Consider Every Failure as a win!

Failure is losing, right? Not necessarily. When you think of any personality in history who showed resilience, what they had in common was that they took a failure and made it a “win.” Failures exist in your life not to make you feel downtrodden and unlucky, instead lift you up, see your mistakes to prevent them again, and give you a new challenge to conquer.

If something in life doesn’t happen the way that you want, don’t give up. If you want something badly enough, there is nothing in the world that can stop you. Whatever the ending is, if you see your failures as a win because you gained something, namely knowledge, then there is no such thing as a loss.

Look for Support and Then Accept it

Studies show that people who have a good social support network experience less anxiety, depression, and feelings of isolation. In times of crisis, we tend to withdraw and shut the world out. But, unfortunately, that is when we need others around us most. Support is always available; you just have to look around and foster the relationships you have with other people.

If someone is offering help, take it. There is no shame in leaning on people to do your heavy lifting when you aren’t able. It is the way that we are supposed to survive. And if you see someone who needs your support, reach out to them as well. The positivity that you feel when helping someone else through a rough time is emotionally beneficial for you too. Don’t be afraid to let people in to listen, to help, and to lend a hand. That is what makes the world go around!

Find Your “Thing”

Everyone needs their escape. When life is too much, you need a place to go to that’s your safe-zone, your happy place, or just your outlet to reflect. For some, it is yoga, others running, whatever it is that allows you to step back and away long enough to gain perspective, you need that “thing.” Carrying a heavy load around all the time without ever having a way to put down your backpack of hardships will only wear you out and make it nearly impossible to continue.

Take the time to take care of yourself and do things just for you. It isn’t selfish; it is necessary. The phrase, “You can’t take care of anyone if you don’t take care of you” is real. Find what eases your mind and schedule it in your daily calendar, just like you schedule things for everyone else.

Resilience Involves Finding Lessons Learned

Inside of every dark or challenging situation, there is a lesson to be learned. And within every heartache, there is a new beginning and something to take away. The way to be resilient is to learn a lesson from every negative experience that you have. The scars that you take with you aren’t ones that mark you in a bad way. They are a reminder of how you got through a hard time, and you didn’t break.

You not only made it through; you made it through more robust and ready to conquer anything like it again with the necessary skills to make it an even less stressful next time.

beautiful woman face with closed eyes practicing yoga

Be Mindful… Live in the Here and now

Mindfulness is at the heart of mental wellbeing. It isn’t a fad or a new catchphrase. In fact, mindfulness has been around since the evolution of man, and people have practiced it throughout the ages, probably not even knowing. Mindfulness is a way to live in the present, to make decisions not only autopilot but through careful consideration of all things around you. So often we walk through life with our heads in our phones or on a computer.

We never stop to look around at all the amazing things around. Being resilient means taking the time to see all the gifts that you are presented in life. It is a way of living that requires that you evaluate each new experience as unique instead of a series of life events. When you are facing a difficult time, stop to examine what you are really going through. Move through the thoughts and emotions instead of pushing them away. Then consider all aspects to gain a perspective on what is really going on instead of a flash picture of preconceived notions and ideas.

Don’t Play the Victim

It is hard not to feel sorry for yourself every once in a while. And quite honestly, you need that time to pity yourself and your situation to come to terms with it and find a resolution. But don’t get caught in playing the victim. You can’t ever be the victim unless you allow yourself to be.

Bad things happen to us all, but it is how we chose to handle them that defines us. Take the time to grieve, feel sad, even be angry. But once those emotions have run their course, set them free and turn all that energy into a positive force to persevere and move forward. If you stay stuck in your own grief or self-pity, then finding joy will be very difficult. Wallow in your sorrow only long enough to find your strength.

Sad teenager listening to music in a bar

Don’t be Envious of Others

There will always be people who have more than you. But in the same instance, there will always be people who have less and are more unfortunate. I can guarantee you that no matter how bad things are, there is still someone worse off. If you are envious of how carefree everyone else’s life appears, then you see life as beyond your control or something that is controlled by fate.

Only you can change your life and make it better. And every new day is a new day to start over and achieve your goals. Sure, some people are going to appear to have things come more quickly than others, but don’t assume they are happy, or that they appreciate it. Focus on you, your blessings, and your goals, and forget about what everyone, or anyone else, has.

Resilience is a way of getting through the rough things in life and looking to the positive. There will always be challenges in life, always. The key is to focus on what you can do to make things better, what positive you can find in a situation, and what lessons you can learn from the not so positive things.

If you learn to practice mindfulness, find that thing that allows you to escape when things get rough, and look for the abundance of support that is likely standing all around you, you will not only persevere, you will soar. If, however, you are having a difficult time getting past hurt, loss, or hurdles in your life, a ChatOwl professional is here to help.

Everyone goes through tough times; it is what you do in those moments that defines who and what you are. Resilience is what helps to make it out the other end scarred, but with scars that will heal and always be a reminder of what you are capable of.